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The last hour consisted of me begging her to call the police.""The guy was telling me how he ate his hair and that he is homeless until next week, when he'll get a writing gig and get a room. I offered him my scarf to wipe it off, but he refused. Leaving the bar, he told me he couldn't tell if I was into him. To my great surprise, she was with the woman who I had just been on the terrible first date with and they were good friends.

Instead, he took off one of his socks in the middle of winter, wiped off his forehead and stuffed the sock back in his pocket. Then he tripped on the sidewalk curb and fell down. I never saw either of them again.""I once went on a date with a girl I met on Ok Cupid which consisted of me wandering up and down the street for two hours...

After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website.

When you decide to quit dating for a little while, here’s what you need to do: get the heck out of town, work your butt off, and try really hard not to think about boys. Before that, I snuck off to New Orleans with my best friend Daniella for a four-day Bourbon Street binge, complete with photo taking, palm readings and like a hundred too many of those Turtle Bomb things.

Right now I’m writing from Florida, where I’m working a great gig that I truly don’t even know how I managed to snag.

, I’m meeting up with the band boys for their show – which just so happens to be in the same city I’m working with in Florida – to hitch a ride down to Miami before we all come home.

Modern dating is about looking for the bad in people, not the good. One guy I dated had these ears that pinned back funny and looked like they were stapled to his head. I can list every superficial bad thing about that guy, and probably say minimal about his character or potential as a partner. I’ve been married before, been divorced for many years and have no desire to marry again. That’s men roughly 10 years older than me, in the 45 age bracket.

The idea of having any kind of family of my own dropped off my radar a long time ago. By far the more interesting stat was the dramatic difference in the average age of who swiped right and messaged me, relative to my Tinder age. Older men come with any combination of downsides that I find hard to tolerate — namely dad bods, viagra, ex-wives and teenage children.

, four actually sounds low — we're meeting practical strangers we've only vetted based off a few (filtered) photos, TV show interests and a 90-character bio filled with trite, ripped-from-the-Internet We typically endure these moments in horror, then immediately take to our friends to text: "OMG, you won't believe what just happened..." But there's a lot to learn from horror stories — or, at least, a lot to laugh at.

I got endless matches, all right, but I also didn’t know which matches were worth my time. Are we now too afraid to approach interesting people in real life because we know we can just go back to the comparative “ease” of approaching people online?

But I had a sneaking suspicion that this 21st-century way of dating might actually be stunting our personal growth.

Then once I'd extricated myself, he texted me as I walked to the bus and told me we needed to write a children's book together.

There is no question that Tinder is a game-changer. Whether you believe in the ‘Tinder Generation’ or what Vanity Fair said recently about the dawning of a dating apocalypse, the dating landscape has changed and thanks primarily to dating apps like Tinder. Instead of hating all over Tinder and blaming it for my non-existent dating life, I decided to run a Tinder experiment instead.

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What are the pitfalls — and why might it be better than IRL dating?  " data-reactid="31"I get it — online dating is the new “normal” in today’s day and age.

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